kelly_girl

This if for finitejester37 who wanted dark Burn Notice.

Title:How to be a ex-spy in two easy steps or FUBAR: Assassin style
Pairing: None
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine
Warnings: Dark, depressing, full of yummy angst

Summary: What if Michael and Victor changed places?



I used to be a spy. I loved it, it was fun, dangerous, and glorious. Then The Company happened. They killed everyone close to me. Then they thought a few layers would hide their crimes. Underestimation is a bad thing in the spy business,but a good thing for me.

Right now I'm playing nice and I following orders. I gathered intelligence and assets and money. I smiled in Carla's face and dreamed about cutting her head off. Fiona, Sam, my mom. All gone, all dead and all because of me. Now i'm following this guy, this Victor and he's stupid, weak, and I want to end his life so badly.

He gets to smile and laugh and help the gullible citizens of Miami, because this time Carla's trying something new. She couldn't have done that with my family, my friends?

There wasn't enough left of Fiona to put in a shoebox.

She talks to me sometimes, Fiona, late at night, her voice lilting and beautiful. She tells me how we'll make them pay and I fall asleep to the faint smell of C-4.

Sam visits too, but he doesn't talk about revenge. He talks about old times and drinks all my beer.

Ma doesn't visit.

I follow and gather intel like a good pet assassin, I watch and I grow angrier as Victor visits his kid and wife, all together, thinking their safe. I'll show him safe, the stupid son of a bitch. He's got someone and all I have are dreams that offer little comfort. Those and a brother that will spend the rest of his life in a straight jacket.

Victor looks thoughtful and caring in my scope as I get ready to squeeze the trigger and make his head pop like a balloon full of blood and bone.

It'll get on his kid.

I let my finger relax without taking the kill shot. Carla wants him dead, wants it messy, but I decide to slip my leash. In an hour, Victor will get a letter and if he's half the burned spy I think he is, he and his family will be gone ten minutes after that. In the morning, everything will be in place and there will be bullets flying and bombs exploding and I'll be happy for the first time in years.

How to be free in two easy steps? 1)Make sure you have nothing left to lose 2)Make them pay, not matter what.

This is for blueraccoon who asked for Eliot/Danny or Alec/Abby. Cause they rock.

In the Moment (Leverage/NCIS/CSI:NY crossover)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: No
Warnings: None unless the potential for costumes scares you
Disclaimer: Not mine which is sad.



Eliot's doing recon on the room so he sees her right away. Black hair, Black dress, black boots; pretty in a Morticia Adams kind of way. She's smiling and staring at Hardison like they're the best of friends. Now Hardison's smiling back but it's his 'what do i do now?' smile and it makes Eliot smirk and nudge him in the side.

"Who's that?"

Hardison tries to play innocent, but it doesn't work and hasn't in a few months. Not since that time he tried to make Eliot dress up like some guy from a geeky sci-if show about a ship named after a bug.

Alec hems and haws and Eliot waits him out.

"Um, that's um, that's Abby, okay? And before you ask, we were not nakedly acquainted with each other, though not from lack of trying on my part. Um, did I say that part out loud?"

Eliot laughs and throws one arm around Alec's shoulder. He likes seeing Hardison all riled up. It's fun and kind of turns him on. He's about to drag Hardison over to his Abby so he can find out more when the guy sitting next to her turns and shoots Eliot a surprised look.

Eliot quietly mumbles, "Oh, Shit," but not quiet enough because Alec hears him and sees the looking and now he's pissed.

"And just who is that?"

The mild voice doesn't fool him and Eliot knows there will be groveling and chocolate and some damn electronic gadget he'll have to buy to get laid again, and fuck, he is not going to Hong Kong again so his boyfriend will forgive him and make out with him. He is totally going to Hong Kong or maybe even China.

Eliot clears his throat and tries to act innocent. It doesn't work but he gives it a try.

"That's Danny and we may have been involved a time or two. Maybe three."

Eliot lets out a faint yelp as he's dragged over to the table. He is never coming to another geek convention again, at least not until Hardison dresses up like that bad guy with the sword and talks about Eliot's sins.

Work boring. Someone hit me with some drabble ideas. First five gets a drabble or two.

Dark, Fluffy, Au, anything.

Fandoms:

NCIS, CSI:LV or NY, Criminal Minds, Fast and Furious, The Unit, Burn Notice, Royal Pains, Firefly, Stargate SG-1, SPN, RPS involving naked JDM, Heroes, RPS involving naked Milo and/or Adrian.

Yoyodyne is making me tired by having no work for me.


I read a Jack Harkness/Chewbacca fic earlier that warped me beyond comprehension because it proved that you can put Jack Harkness anywhere, at anytime, in any galaxy and make it work. There was wookie sex, people and it was in character and stuff. Here's a link for anyone that's like me and is curious if that pairing can be written well and it work.


Oh! From my post the other day about Fast and Furious AU stuff. Anyone feels the urge to do that, go for it. I don't talk about plot bunnies here if I want to keep them all to myself. I firmly believe in the plot bunny share system. So if Dom and Brian as werewolves or vampires grabs you then have fun.


I feel the urge to do genderswap fic in which Brian O'Connor is turned into a woman. Or Dominic Toretto is turned into a woman with the amazon physique going on and Brian can't stop staring and getting hard and saying stupid shit that makes girl!Dom roll her eyes and grab Brian and just kiss him stupid, or more stupid. I don't know where these ideas come from but I'm going to find someone to blame.


Damn, I had another fic idea but my brain is like jello. Royal Pains fic stuff! Maybe that is what I was thinking about. Hee, I still want some Boris/Hank so I will attempt to work on that this weekend for myself and the three other people on my flist that watch.

And Burn Notice, with Michael being all flirty with bad guy last week and bad guy flirting back (if you keep staring at me like that you're going to have to buy me dinner!) and Michael all "that's a pretty suit." I mean if you hand me slashy lemons i have no choice but to make hot m/m lemonade involving blackmail and hate sex.

I JUST SAW A POLAR BEAR WALK BY.


Yoyodyne gave me a vacation check. I haven't even been here a year. About two months ago I got a bonus check. I'm going to have to be firmly on the side of evil now.

Yoyodyne is trying to freeze us slowly for what I can only assume are gruesome experiments.


Anyone remember a James Spader movie from the late 80's (I think), called 'Jack's Back?' I used to own the movie many years ago.

James Spader played twins in the movie and I kinda feel the urge to re-do the movie with either Jensen in it or Milo. I had a weird dream about Milo the other night which is totally sandersyaeger and blueraccoon's fault.

There was a dark club and he bought me a drink and well...heh. I have evil friends.

So! James Spader movie and then I'd make Milo's love interest be a quirky slightly older guy by the name of Adrian, and together they could solve the seemingly Jack the Ripper like crimes that are going on.


Why does Hollywood keep making bad guys hot? Johnny Depp as John Dillinger? Seriously? And I'm supposed to be supporting him or not? Hot bad guys confuse me as to whether i'm supposed to be frowning in censure of them or cheering them on.

Burn Notice is on Tonight. So is Royal Pains.

Leverage rerun was on last night. I cannot wait until the new season. I'm also eyeing a new show called 'Dark Blue' that looks good and stars Dylan Mcdermott. Then I will patiently wait while someone crosses Dark Blue with Leverage and we have Dark Leverage.

I need ideas about putting Brian and Dom into a supernatural type verse. Like if they were werewolves or vampires or hmm, something else that I can't think of but want to ponder. I'm close to putting a sword in Brian's hand and having him tell someone there can be only one.

Bonaroo music festival happens just like down the way from where I live, about 30 minutes and it ended the other day but they found a body in tent. :( Very sad.

Title: After Party
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Brian/Dom
Timeline: Some vague time after the fourth movie
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made

A/N:This is all the fault of sandersyaeger cause she's evil and stuff. I was going to try and actually join the comm she got the prompt from but I was late to the ball. Thanks to slashyme for the quick beta moves.

Summary: There is an alley and there is sex.


( Story )

If Brian O'Connor and Jim Kirk ever met would they create a blackhole of hotness that would destroy us all? Or hmm, Jim Kirk--descendant of Brian O'Connor? I like this brand of crack.

I need more Glee. We had one ep and you know FOX is going to be all 'Wha, what's that?' in the fall. The preview had them singing Kanye's 'Gold Digger.' I NEED THIS LIKE I NEED OXYGEN

Burn Notice tonight. Royal pains tonight (Go team Hank/Boris!)

Almost done with the novelization of the new Star Trek movie. I recommend it as there are a few scenes in the book that are not in the movie.

I need more JDM fic, hot evil JDM fic.

I had a catfish sandwich for lunch. It was delicious.

Adam on the front of RS is cute. I see the appeal.

Am still waiting in vain for someone to write me Captain Jack Harkness/James T Kirk fic. You can't see my face but my eyes are puppy dog like.


Watched Vicky Christina Barcelona and it was blah. Not even the hotness of Javier Bardem could save it.

Watched Royal Pains again. Pointed out the slash to my hubby for fun.

Really want some more 'Glee.' I kinda want someone to write me Glee/Star Trek.

I need a minion.

Have ideas about original fic and no time to write.

Work is slow and our manager is buying us lunch all this week. Most of the big bosses are on a cruise along with employees who earned it with the selling and stuff and other employees who's name gets picked out of a big hat. A big evil hat.

Found my Barbie and Ken Star Trek dolls. They are still in their original package. *Dusts off my geek badge of awesomeness*

Changed the title to my LJ to 'Rollerskating through life blindfolded while holding a chainsaw' cause that's how this week has felt. Next week? More rollerskating like hijinks.

( New Burn Notice )


Anybody watch Royal Pains? New show coming on right after Burn Notice? I did.

( spoilery about the ep )

Got the kids to myself this week. Happy happy joy (omgsotired)joy. Will have them to myself next week too as hubby and his promotion travel around the U.S.

Burn Notice has been on all week on USA.

NEW SEASON STARTING THIS THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I forgot how much I loved The Shanks as Victor. He was a like a psychotic puppy and he called Michael pretty. Ahhh.

Anyone seen the Burn Notice/Royal Pains crossover commercial where Michael is writing the Doctor on the new show a letter and sends him some sunglasses(i think), sunscreen and a block of C-4 "because you never know when you might need some high grade plastic explosive."

*Loves Michael Westen* And Fee. And Sam.

I have many recs I want to rec but I have to get them in order. Got two stories about done,but they need another look or two and a beta.

Yoyodyne is letting us off at Noon on Fridays, which is pretty nice for a company who's main goal is to take over the world and enslave us all.

I need a Kirk icon that says 'Sure thing' or 'Promiscuous.'


This story is the reason I read fanfic. Taking crack and and making crack-lemonade.

It's Misha Collins and the crew of the USS Enterprise.

'Set Phasers on hilarious'


Also, who's going to write some Captain Jack Harkness/Captain Kirk fic? I think we need a Captain ficathon or pornothon people.

( What was going on with our team last night? )


Glee was awesome and I can't stop singing or humming 'Don't stop believing.' FOX totally tricked me with the 'back in the fall' crap. I thought it was coming on every Tuesday. Bastards.

V! V is coming on ABC this fall I think. Saw some previews. Inara! She's all evil and Morena looks very pretty as an undercover lizard woman. Man I used to love V like crazy. Marc Singer was hot in the show and in Beastmaster. Omg, I will watch this and fangirl it like crazy. I wonder if they'll have an Elizabeth so she can grow real fast and then have mysterious powers and be all cheesy and stuff.

Oh! Star Trek. I'm loving the Uhura/Spock and people are writing Chekov/Bones which is really really hot and sounds wrong and dirty but oh so good. I didn't know the actor that's playing Chekov was in 'Alpha Dog' which I really liked at first but the ending pissed me off so much that I will never watch that movie again.

Burn Notice coming back on soon. Micheal being all spy/macgyver like. And Sam! And Fi!

No one is around on AIM to squee with me about Uhura/Spock and tell me I should write some sexy sweet scenes between them. Then I can whine about all my WIPs that are lined up and frowning at me.

Let's see and these are not all my WIPs, just the most current ones in my head that I really want to finish:

( My writerly babble, let me show you it )

And to bed I go.

Spn was like whoa.

( SPN s4 finale )


I've been gorging myself of Uhura/Spock people and it's good and yummy and there are descriptions of them touching each other on the elbow that are better than some porn out there. I've only read one story that made me go 'wtf' and even then, not that much.

I have an idea or two and work is slow. I may try and drabble tomorrow. And there are about 50 U/S icons I wan to use at the same time.

Who's writing the Firefly/Star Trek story? Mal and Kirk meeting? The snark, the hotness, the tight pants. Come one, it almost writes itself!

Scotty and Kaylee totally making out in engineering because hell, it's the Enterprise and I even got a little breathless when they showed it.

Kirk/Inara? She'd run circles around him and Zoe would be cautious because her captain made her leave one of her shotguns on Serenity and how did he expect her to just be okay with two guns, three knives and a grenade she borrowed from Jayne?

Simon would think Bones was just like Mal and go find Spock to talk to, and he'd be busy eyeing River and muttering, 'fascinating.'

Omg, I think my hardcore Trekker soul has been reawakened. From many years ago, I still have ST books, manuals, crew and ep recaps cards and a model ship(okay the ship is gone. It melted after my mom stuck it in a closet that had a heating vent in it)

*Pulls out my Trekker geek card*

I have Star Trek plates somewhere people.

About a year ago I was unpacking this stuff and looking at it like one might look at dinosaur bones and I said, "Wow, I didn't think I was this big of a Star Trek Geek." My hubby just looked at me in pure amazement and I could clearly read the 'she's nuts and all that Star Trek stuff in our old apartment didn't clue her in?' look on his face. I then reminded him of all the Star Wars stuff he had and he stopped looking at me with pity.

( My new old fandom )

Am at home with youngest today. She's got a fever. Her viewing choice? Justice League Unlimited DVD. Yep, raising the next generation of geeks is awesome. She cracks me up because she knows who Sam and Dean are and will ask me when she sees them on TV, "Is this supanatuwal?"

Hmm, I'm going to have to add the Winchesters to my Petrelli's VS Scofield-Burrows 'who has the worst dynamics with their families?' poll. You know if I ever get around to making one.

( Spn tonight )


Bones! Omg, what is going on with the emoting and humor then serious serious.

( Bones tonight )


Tomorrow is Dollhouse! YES!

So for family dysfunction who wins? The Petrelli's or the Scofield-Burrows clan?

( tonites prison break )


Wow, Dollhouse. Way to make me nearly fall off the couch.

( Ben is glory? Lana's parents are dead? )

AM BORED.

WORK AT YOYODYNE IS INCREDIBLY SLOW.

AM CONSIDERING CREATING SKYNET TO RELIEVE BOREDOM.

WILL MAKE A TERMINATOR THAT LOOKS LIKE ADRIAN PASDAR.

( just in case spoiler cut )


When your show gives you lemons make Pasdar-ade.